My Friends are Cool

The above video is hilarious but only because it is so true, take a couple minutes to watch if you want a giggle.

Also if you have some time to read check out my friend's blog. It is all about "doing science to stuff" and is pretty cool. It is new so there are only a few posts but what it there is interesting, comparing frozen steak to fresh and tea temperatures are just two of the topics explored but if you like food, drink and science you have to check it out!

Then there is post by another friend with the most adorable pictures of our two new chicks, Bobalina and Seraphina. Her photography is stellar *and* you can read about our misadventure. The whole blog is awesome if you enjoy; books, cats, knitting and of course hockey (more specifically the Bruins). Stop by and say hello there too.

You might notice that both linked blogs are written by brilliant folks, so please try to ignore how much better they are at writing than myself.

Transitions

For the past few years my life has been filled with transitions;
I've been an army wife.
I've been a wife trying to settle in the civilian world.
I've had a really bad landlord.
I've had the best landlord you could ask for.
I've worked part time.
I've been a full time student.
I have mourned.
And tried to move forward.
I've been a homeowner,
who has a garden and chickens.
I have even learned to drive a car,
and got my license.
Today I got on the highway for the first time,
not a fan. I'll stick to my back roads.

As you all know I have taken a semester off, to get my home in order.

But now it is to homeschool my youngest.

Who saw that coming?

I didn't.

It's a long story but at the end Mama Bear did what she had to.

So now I am trying to make some money. Selling things on Ebay, getting ready to open an Etsy store. Hoping that people will want what I am selling.

Today is the first day of Spring, snow on the ground or not. The seasons transition with far more grace than myself even with said snow.

Today is all about transitions, and whether I like it or not;
It goes on.

So moving forward I will do my best to actually share my newest transition. Not because I am the best, I am so not.

But because embracing transition "out loud" is something I need to work on.

Hope you join me.

The post where I feel like I am not meant to blog

Seriously, it is beginning to seem like this is something I should just quit.
Stuff happens... I take a break.
Come back, ready for a fresh start.
World becomes insane and the day to day becomes more than monotonous but overwhelming.

Too stubborn to let it go. Back soon.

Happy Heart Day

As some of you celebrate the day of heart and chocolate with your loved ones or maybe all alone wearing your ugly jammies appreciating the quiet I am home after a long day.

 -The lab lost some of my blood work? I went to the hospital to try to get the results but they were not there. They legit lost my blood work.

 -There was more blood work ordered. They took more blood. When I got home there was a phone call from the doctors office. They needed me to come back and give more. The lab said it wasn't usable? What? So I went back and they took more. At least they were nice. I jokingly said I deserved a cookie and OJ and was offered a donut. That was cool. I said no thanks because I eat donuts probably four times a year.
 My family needs one of those punch cards they have at coffee shops, ten copays one free. It should happen. One of those kids is going to get an Ivy League Education because of us. We have been there every day this week.

 -I went to get my prescription at the pharmacy but it wasn't there. Mr. Bunny's was there, there was in fact no proof that mine existed. sigh

 -Not only am I sick with sort of bizzaro plague from hell, but my blood is disappearing or wrong.

If I disappear it's because the government is holing me up somewhere with my weird illness or broken blood.
I need wine but I have none. Well I have some homemade stuff but it isn't ready.
I need wine that is ready. And good chocolate. And a nap. And my wrists to stop hurting so I can clean and make stuff.
Rant over.
I hope that *you* are having a wonderful day. For more Puritan Valentines cards check this out; hilarious. Soon I will post about good stuff but until then, feel free to laugh at me or with me
(really it's at me).

Still sick but have someone keeping an eye on me.

Well this isn't a good start

When I posted the other day I was filled with optimism for a fresh start.
I still am but as usual life is throwing in a delay. More on that in a momentito.

Have you watched Hoarders? My goodness that is such a sad show, it breaks my heart. Really it does, to see people hurting so much, surrounded by stuff. Now the horrible part of me generally watches it and feels like the housework can wait.
It is not that bad.
I feel good about my home and generally can rejoice with them at the end when so much has been accomplished.

Not last time I watched, oh no. I don't watch often, so when I noticed a recurring theme it terrified me.

A lot of times these people identify themselves as "artists" or "collectors" because they find great stuff at great prices (sometimes free).

WHOA!!!

Wait a minute....

I can totally be like that. While trying to live simply, it sometimes becomes difficult when faced with bargains, sparkle and my mind creating projects while it wanders into a place where time is no object.

Now I am not there... but it made me want to tackle my craft room even more. Sell supplies I won't use on Etsy. Sell the vintage crafting stuff I have been picking up to sell, when I have time.

I started making time. Nothing gets done without making time.

Then I got more sick, I have been fighting with a virus for a couple months but now it is escalating. There are rashes, migraines, joint and muscle pain that go with conflicting answers from the doctors I have seen.

Tomorrow I go back in, for now I am on painkillers and more antibiotics.

So my health is my wrench.

But I am here anyway, and will be.

It is hard because when I feel like this all I want to do is play with yarn, but my wrists won't let me.

My body won't let me do much of anything, so this post is again just words.

I think I am going to start posting pictures of random until I have recent things to show.

Find my voice again, well maybe I will just be sharing my eyes for now.

What inspires you to clean up? What inspires you to sit on your bottom and feel okay with the clutter?

Where I let you in on where my crazy originates; or fresh start; or just read it...

All my old posts are gone, because this is a fresh start. My fresh start.
See my life has been crazy (in the best of ways mostly) and writing here was not a priority, on my mind but not a priority.
There were reasons of course, as there always are; school, kids extracurriculars, volunteering.... the list goes on because really I am just another mom.
There was no time to do anything I enjoyed, lots of UFO's from attempts of peace. Dreams of creating and selling were met with reality of a craft room so out of order I couldn't find what I needed never mind actually complete something. I did make a formal gown for Thing 1's semi-formal, there was an altered art painting, lots of attempts of knitting and crochet. None of my normal mojo-jojo was occurring.
Here is where the fresh start comes in; my confessional. Some of you know me in real life and some of you know my whole backstory, but most everyone doesn't. Generally back stories are irrelevant, because they are the pieces that assemble who we are today.
Our core.
Well I have spent my whole adult like trying to "pass", there are a lot of reasons someone might say that and every one is uniques as the person speaking or in this case writing.
I carry a ridiculous amount of shame with me; for things I can not control. Could not control. The exact details of this are irrelevant.
Here is what isn't; I was an adolescent who moved around with a trash bag. Until I had my oldest that was my life.
Having that be a huge part of what made me who I am is something I like to try to hide from because I am now a happy woman, who lives on a cup-de-sac with chickens, a dog, three cats and most importantly an amazing family with Mr. Bunny and the girls.
It is hard to think of Thing 1 living the life I led and she is at an age where that could be a real thing.

Why am I sharing this with you?

One of my best friends passed away a couple months ago and she was also a kid with a trash bag. A kid that ran with me and a crowd we were part of. She grew into an amazing adult with a lot of struggles in her heart.

That is what happens when you are a trash bag kid, with no family support to speak of. I am lucky that in my adult life I have built a relationship with my family. That is a privilege for people like us.

We were like sisters. She was amazing. I still feel lost without her and I imagine I will for a long time.

Now she is gone, one of the two people from that long era of my life I kept in contact with.

She used to laugh at how ashamed I was, because I came so far. We both had.

You know what I did, I came damn far and am not going to be ashamed anymore.

It was not luck that put me in this position. I earned it.

For years I have struggled trying to balance who I am and what pieces of me people get to know.

No more, here I am! All of me.

That event also made me realize that my goals were not mine. I was being practical and doing what I thought was right. (My friend liked to point out that maybe I could veer away from this on occasion).

So I did. I am taking this semester off from school, getting my house in order and allowing myself to enjoy being with my kids.

No guilt.

I am going to have to make some changes here (paying off loans attached to no degree) but it is okay.

Mr. Bunny is relieved I am being honest with myself about my wants now.

He is now on medication which helps with his neuro stuff, so I feel more comfortable not rushing through.

So it is here, in this space I feel like I can be authentic. Share my journey in saving money, cooking more, playing with yarn, fabric and the day to day.

Because it is all out there now.